The Art of Self-Care in Stressful Times

Self-care is an art that requires us to be mindful of our needs and to set boundaries. It’s about understanding that you can’t pour from an empty cup and that neglecting personal well-being can lead to burnout. Mayo Clinic describes burnout as a state of physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion combined with doubts about your competence and the value of your work.

Making Self-Care a Priority

To make self-care a priority, begin by changing the narrative that it’s selfish or secondary to other responsibilities. Prioritize activities that replenish your energy, just as you would any critical business meeting. This means scheduling and sticking to times for rest, relaxation, and hobbies that make you feel alive.

Practical Self-Care Strategies

Self-care strategies can be as unique as the individuals practicing them, but there are some universal practices that can benefit everyone, especially those in high-stress environments:

• Mindfulness and Meditation: Tools like Headspace can guide you into mindful practices that reduce stress, improve focus, and promote inner peace.
• Regular Exercise: Incorporating physical activity into your routine isn’t just for fitness; it’s a stress reliever. Just a 30-minute walk can clear your mind and boost endorphins.
• Nutrition: Eating well is a form of self-respect. What we consume fuels not only our bodies but also our mental health. Foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids, such as salmon and walnuts, can improve mood and brain function.
• Quality Sleep: Healthline confirms that proper sleep is crucial for optimizing health and well-being, particularly in curbing the effects of stress.
• Limiting Overtime: Decide when your workday ends and stick to it. Overworking can lead to diminishing returns on productivity and well-being.

Finding Joy Amidst the Chaos

Finding or creating joy in your work environment is a potent form of self-care. This can mean different things to different people—listening to a favorite podcast during breaks, personalizing your workspace with items that make you smile, or simply taking five minutes to enjoy a cup of coffee without distractions.

Overcoming Obstacles to Self-Care

It’s easier to list self-care practices than to actually implement them. Workplace culture, personal habits, or lack of motivation can pose significant barriers. Harvard Business Review offers insights on beating burnout with self-care strategies, but the real challenge lies in overcoming our internal obstacles:

• Acknowledge the importance of self-care beyond mere lip service.
• Set attainable goals that make self-care an accessible daily reality.
• Practice saying no to additional commitments that could threaten your self-care routines.
• Create a supportive network that encourages and respects your boundaries.

Final Thought: A Balancing Act

Mastering the art of self-care in high-stress environments is a balancing act that demands practice and persistence. Remember, self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all; it’s a deeply personal journey. By making self-care a priority, you not only enhance your own well-being, but you also become better equipped to handle the pressures that come your way and to serve others more effectively.

For anyone interested in diving deeper, consider reading my book, “Conquering Burnout in a Toxic Workplace: Techniques for Transforming Stress and Escaping Anxiety So You Can Stay Motivated and Take Control of Your Career,” available on Amazon. I’ve been there, done that and share some of my experiences in this book. Remember, putting yourself first isn’t just good practice; it’s essential for sustained high performance in any high-stress environment.

It might seem like joy and career don’t mix well—and if joy is essential to your happiness, you may want to change. But joy isn’t always connected with our emotions. It can be cultivated. It’s a practice, not an emotion or feeling that descends on us unexpectedly.

As the saying goes, “When you do what you love, it doesn’t feel like work.” We have heard this many times and know intuitively that joy at work exists for people who create joy in their work. But joy is more than that—it’s the overarching experience of infusing it into your life, whether you are working or not.

Here are seven great ways to find joy and peace at work:

1. Mindfulness Meditation/Prayer

Meditation/prayer is essential for joy at work because it reduces stress and sharpens your focus. When our thoughts are cluttered, and we’re distracted, joy is next to impossible. Meditation helps us gain control of our thoughts and emotions. Meditating at work can help you focus on your tasks and keep your joy intact.

2. Slow Down

Doing things quickly isn’t the same as doing them efficiently. It might seem counterintuitive, but taking your time at work can help you feel joy and peace. Overworking at the expense of mindfulness only increases your stress level. By slowing down, you reduce anxiety and increase joy.

It’s a good idea to turn off all distractions at work. This includes putting your phone on silent and not refreshing social media sites every five seconds—and don’t answer the door! By eliminating distractions, you give yourself priority over everything else. And it can help us be much more productive at the beginning of the day.

3. Be Grateful

If having joy at work is something you struggle with, try to acknowledge the things that are going well at work. When you focus on what is successful, you feel better. Sometimes you can joy in the simplest acts—knowing that you have a job to go to and co-workers who value your contributions can be satisfying all by itself.

Acknowledging gratitude is important for joy at work. Being grateful brings joy to the present moment and helps cultivate happiness for your future. A simple daily practice of writing down five things you are grateful for (personal and work) can help shift your perspective and open joy – this helps me tremendously.

4. Focus on What You Do Well

If we spend our time dwelling on our shortcomings, our minds will be negative. Focusing on what you do well and recognizing your successes is important. Your joy is cultivated when you give yourself permission to be present and acknowledge the moment.

If joy at work is a challenge for you, write down three things you do well every day, even if they seem small or not connected to your job title. If joy at work is tied to your sense of identity, it’s important to separate joy from what you do and who you are.

5. Change Your Perspective

If having joy at work seems impossible, think about this: it is a choice. There’s no joy in basing your self-worth on what you do (or don’t) do for a living because joy can exist in any job if it’s chosen. So when you feel your joy slipping away, remember that it comes from within and not without – do not let anything or anyone steal it from you.

Working in a place that inspires joy is more than just having pictures on the wall of things you enjoy. It’s dedicating yourself to creating joy by surrounding yourself with the right people and routines to make it happen.

6. Leave Work at Work

We all need a break from work—not five minutes to scan the Internet, not thirty-minute lunch breaks where you tweet and check your email, but a real break. If this is a challenge, set boundaries and never let your job follow you outside the office.

Having joy at work doesn’t mean having joy 24/7 – it means finding joy in the middle of what you do (or don’t) get paid to do; we can enjoy our jobs without loving them. This can be difficult when your joy at work is tied to your sense of purpose or joy in the job itself.

7. Take Time for Yourself

Schedule joy. If joy at work is elusive, take time out of your day to do things you enjoy. Maybe it’s walking around the block or taking ten minutes during lunch to read. Whatever it is, joy comes from being intentional about what makes you feel good—not surfing your phone for two hours or watching Netflix without realizing it.

Our lives at work (and everywhere) are constantly changing, but how we experience them is up to us. If you’re used to working in a traditional 9-5 job and your company implements 4-day weeks or flex hours, the joy of these changes is in their freedom. Imagine how joy at work can change when you decide to take back your Sundays!

8. Distance Yourself From Energy Vampires

You know who these people are – the complainers, gossipers, kingdom-builders. Yuck, you don’t need or have time for that! They are draining, and you need to avoid them. Spend time with people you like at work and add value to your work life.

If you are around people who constantly bring you down, they will rub off on you and try to steal your joy (likely without you knowing it) – so it’s important to distance yourself from them!

Many people believe joy in the workplace is an oxymoron. But joy comes from within, and it’s possible to find joy in the work you do every day, no matter your job title. When you take your happiness into your own hands, look beyond what others think, and focus on creating joy for yourself – this then becomes contagious, and you will spill over to others. The bottom line is joy in the workplace is possible, and each day we find joy not just at work but everywhere! I hope you do too.

While annoying coworkers can be found everywhere, you’ll notice them more in jobs that involve a great deal of teamwork. If you’ve ever worked on a big assignment with someone who didn’t pull their weight or felt like your contributions were going unnoticed, these guys can make even star employees feel burned out and demoralized.

Here are 10 of the most annoying coworkers (in no particular order), and how to deal with them:

1. The Know-It-All

This annoying coworker believes that everything they do is right, and his way is the best/only way. This person will brag about himself, speak over the top of others, and control/dominate meetings by making sure he is always heard first or last. He may come on extremely strong when they first meet you and repeat annoying words such as, “actually,” “honestly,” and “seriously.”

He may also have a condescending tone of voice, and always finds a way to deliver passive-aggressive messages in front of others. They love pointing out others’ mistakes and offering advice, but of course, he never makes any of his own.

The best way to divert this guy is to let them think you agree with him (even when you do not). Take notes in your meetings with him and job down ideas people bring up. Once Mr. Know-It-All turns his attention towards you, he will likely forget who said what and where the idea came from, and you can throw it right back at him.

2. The Loud Talker

This annoying coworker loves to hear himself talk — and the louder, the better. He will have no problem talking over everyone else in a room, or constantly interrupting when others are speaking. He may also be annoying at group social functions by monopolizing conversations and dominating every discussion with his loud voice and constant rambling about himself.

The best way to deal with the Loud Talker is to make eye contact, give him a smile/nod, and walk away if you must. You can also excuse yourself from the conversation — but only if you make it clear that you are not interested in talking further. Or, in the office setting, I just walk away when he’s talking to give myself a break.

3. The Stinky One

This guy does not believe in showers, using deodorant, brushing his teeth, or washing his clothes. It makes you wonder if he wears the same underwear every day too. Every time he walks past you, his body odor smell instantly makes you want to hurl. On top of that, he’s always the one to make gross noises and digs his nose. If you don’t have to work closely with him, that’s great, but if you are near him a lot, you need to ask him nicely to take care of his hygiene. Personally, this is probably the most challenging one I’ve come across.

4. The Overworked Martyr

The Overworked Martyr is too busy to complete the tasks he was assigned. If you ask him for help on a project, he will probably say “yes,” but in the end, you end up doing it yourself. On top of that, he loves to play the one-upper and brag about how he has 500 emails to go through before lunch and say, “I have so, so, so much to do, I just can’t take on another thing,” or “I am so stressed.” When you might “only” have your minor 50 emails, and you will not get the last word in before he has even more tasks to brag about. It’s best to just agree and say, “ok, then you better back to it!”

5. The Butt Kisser

This coworker will sacrifice his friendships with others to gain brownie points with the boss. He will act like your best friend one day and then go report you to your boss behind your back, just so he can look good in front of his superior. This guy will also steal your ideas and take credit for your work. The best way to deal with the Butt Kisser is to just cut your losses and do not trust him at all.

6. The Gossip Queen

This annoying coworker has no boundaries, so she will talk about you behind your back to get information for her “inside” stories. She loves to dish out dirt on everyone else in the office, and a master of office gossip, and loves nothing more than to talk about other people’s personal lives or share details of a big corporate shake-down. It may be harmless at first, but, likely, she will accidentally reveal information that’s not meant for public consumption. You do not have to take all of her dirty talks, so it’s best to just keep the path clear by keeping your distance.

7. The Pen Clicker

There are people with nervous ticks that just click their pen all day long — and especially in a quiet room, all you hear is clicking and it’s annoying as hell. It is maddening and you just want to grab that pen and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine! I’ve realized that sometimes people are oblivious to the fact that they are doing this, but other times they are doing this to be annoying. In either case, it’s best to just tell them nicely to stop annoying you with their pen clicking.

8. The Clock Watcher

This annoying coworker will keep checking the time and looking at the clock often — especially when people get up from their desks. Even if you just get up to use the bathroom or take a break, he might log the time you got up and sat back down. This annoying behavior will make you feel like they are trying to tell you how long your breaks should be and that perhaps you shouldn’t be allowed to use the bathroom or grab a coffee. You do not have to be mean or say something snarky, but it’s best to just ignore him.

9. The Unethical Boss

This boss will do whatever it takes to get ahead. He will bend the rules, work his employees to the bone, and even possibly ask them to do illegal or unethical things that break rules and laws just to get ahead. And, if anything goes wrong, this annoying boss will turn right around and blame you for what happened then find ways of punishing you for it. To deal with this bad boss, you must report him immediately to your higher boss or Human Resources. Sometimes they will not listen or believe you, but that’s a whole other problem.

10. The Needy One

This gal is always asking for favors that she thinks you just can’t say no to. You will be a pushover if you give in, and then end up resenting her for it afterwards. For example, if she asks you for a ride because her car is being worked on, but then she argues with you that you are driving the wrong route when you know you are driving the correct route.

So the next time she asks for a favor, you do not have to be rude or unhelpful, but you can certainly assert yourself and say no. If she doesn’t get the hint, just politely suggest that you would prefer to focus on work projects instead of favors.

If at least one annoying coworker has ruined your day, then we’ve got good news: You don’t have to put up with annoying people. Dealing with annoying people inside and outside of work is tough, but it is not impossible. As irritating as they can be, just remember that your annoying colleagues are probably really just insecure or unconfident.

You can deal with their annoying behavior more effectively by looking at the root of the behaviors and working out how to accept them. There are annoying people in every workplace and it is important to learn how to deal with them at work and avoid them without sounding like a jerk yourself.

But why is it so hard for us to quit these jobs that suck the life out of us? Here are 5 reasons why you are still stuck.

1. The Compensation Package is Great

Maybe you receive an amazing benefits package with free health insurance, subsidized gym memberships or massages, free meals in the company cafeteria, and days off during the week to use for traveling or chillout days. Often, your job benefits outweigh the nature of the environment you’re in.

You might also stay because you need that fat check every two weeks to pay your rent/mortgage, pay off your student loans or credit card debt, and maybe even fund a retirement account or savings goal. If you leave, your mind will continue to worry about the financial burden you’ve incurred. I have a friend that stays at her job solely for the medical benefits for her and her family.

2. You Don’t Know How To Market Yourself

You spend all day in your soul-sucking job, and it’s so easy to fall into a groove where you do the same tasks every day without thinking about how you can add value or get noticed. You might find yourself in a rut, unsure how to move up the ladder or even what your next steps should be.

The thought of looking for a new job fills you with anxiety, but it doesn’t need to. You have to accept that soul-sucking jobs might not always pay off in the end. Try writing down all the things you can do to sell yourself or your project, and start taking real steps towards making it happen.

3. You Are Used to a Familiar Routine

The routine at this job might be all you know or want to know. You are already used to what/who is good, what/who is bad, and how to deal with it. You’ve been there for what feels like forever – decades, even. This is where your money and livelihood come from; this is how you keep a roof over your head and support your family.

I know many people who let fear consume them and refuse to seek new opportunities, even within their organization. But if you never look, you will never know what different looks like. If you’re feeling stuck in a rut, try switching things up. Take on a project that pushes you to learn new skills, acquire new experiences or acquire a brand new certification. You might find another calling that you never knew existed.

4. You Are Afraid of Failure

You might be too afraid to leave your soul-sucking job because other options out there might be the same as what you currently have. The change can be scary but necessary if you want to grow. You likely feel secure where you are now and have doubts that another job would be any better.

If you stay, you run the risk of plateauing, stagnating, and getting stuck. But if you change your surroundings, you can bring out new sides to yourself that never had a chance to grow.

One of the most important lessons to learn in life is that there is no such thing as certainty. Life is uncertain, but what will happen if you don’t take action? You could leave your soul-sucking job for a new one and get fired the next day, or you could lose your current job just as easily. Either way, you will never know if you don’t try. Fearing the unknown should not be what keeps you from making needed changes to your life.

5. You Have Forgotten Who You Are on the Inside

Your job has sucked the life out of you, along with all of your time and energy, and you have forgotten your passion and purpose. You’ve slowly begun to believe that this is all you deserve and can achieve.

If you’re stuck in a soul-sucking job, it’s time to get outside your comfort zone and do something that makes you feel alive. You need a change of scenery to help bring back the real you because your draining job can make everything and everyone else seem less important or fulfilling.

In a twisted way, your job can be addicting since it might be the only thing bringing in an income or the only thing you identify with. Leaving your soul-sucking job can feel like you’re leaving your comfort zone, but that’s the only way you will ever know what it feels like to be comfortable in your own skin.

Take a moment to visualize how life would look if you could walk away from this nasty job without feeling guilty or thinking something terrible would happen. It might feel liberating, and you might even be overcome with excitement.

Try writing down all the things you can do to sell yourself or your project, and start taking real steps towards making it happen. You are more capable than you know. Determine what skills you have that will make others want to hire you.

Remember, nothing will ever change for the better if you don’t take action. Do yourself a favor, and take the initiative to begin the steps towards finding fulfilling work that will help you grow. Discover your passions and know that your job does not define you and another opportunity has your name on it, whether it’s another job or turning your side hustle into your full-time thing!